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| elope, brand, nearly, frigid, "bride eyed".Image from the Internet.
The opening poem contains all the words (or variations of them) from today's Jumble.
Comments are welcomed! And couching them in Poetry is definitely NOT required.
Do not explicitly reveal any of the actual answer words until after closing time, but embedding them surreptitiously in comment sentences is encouraged.
ReplyDelete"Night-Ride"
The brand new Wife nearly fainted with joy
in finding herself alone with her boy,
her beau, her beloved, and now her husband,
having eloped in a night of unaccustomed
terrors. From riding a galloping gelding
to rowing a skiff in a frigid stream,
it all seems a dream.
But there's no telling
what labors and traumas she wouldn't have tried
to be Mrs. Montgomery, Charlie's new bride.
~ OMK
"No Conflict"
ReplyDeleteThe couple set off with much hope
on the day they planned to elope.
The weather was cold and frigid,
which made them worry and fidget.
But the chapel had a well-known brand,
so they held each other's hand,
and pronounced their vows clearly, not nearly,
because they loved each other dearly.
Now they're a joyful groom and bride,
feeling blessed and teary-eyed.
And even though they had tarried,
they are now quite happily married.
I know your work to be rich enough without heeding my notes about conflict. I always enjoy what you post.
ReplyDeleteMy notes come from my own desire, a yearning to see more than what is pure and pretty.
There are certainly times when I want to take a break and just inhale our perfect sun-ripened SoCal air.
Still, I can't help but reflect that R and R is not all there is, and a diet of much sweetness can rot the teeth.
Your mention of the ominous weather
cast a spell, possibly dark,
across the budding adventure
of their darling elopement lark.
That little hint was suggestive
(too bad you didn't play that hand),
and the reader's imagination
gained a slight frisson, a thrill,
that kept the piece from indulging in Bland.
~ OMK
Of course, OMK, you're right,
ReplyDeletethat couple deserved a plight,
or a fright, or a fight.
Next time I'll try a new hand
that will make them a little less bland.
Dear Misty ~
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so accepting of my intrusion.
I'll beg one more favor.
If you will just humor this old fussbudget in wanting to correct himself,
please add a short 3-word line after the word "thrill"; to wit:
"perhaps a chill..."
so that my poetic critique is not so clumsy after all.
Danke.
~ OMK
Said Jean, "I know just what you're going through,
ReplyDeleteI had two men in my life and I was just seventeen
There's Lee and there was Jack and I was betwixt and between
Either guy was fine the problem was two!"
"Dad", I said, "Leo thinks he's got his brand on me
Jack is solid, loving and kind
Lee is nearly out of his mind "
'Elopements the key, let's say friggit and flee.
"So mom, just what did you decide?
Run off with Lee like a wide-eyed bride ?"
"You know grandpa, he's got that certain knack"
"Tell Lee good bye, and marry your father, Jack"
WC
ReplyDeleteWilbur ~
Your poem intrigues me, but I confess I am lost. I tried several times to suss out exactly who is speaking and when. I think there is a rich gag in it, but my slowing old brain doesn't seem up to the task.
The "I" of the 2nd stanza seems to be the same as "Jean" in the first, as her guys' names are the same.
Since the 3rd stanza begins by addressing "mom," it seems to be Jean's child. The break in quotation marks suggests a dialogue, The second voice either addresses "grandpa" or it is "mom" speaking of "grandpa" to the child, or to...?
Then comes the kicker with the delicious jolt of "marry your father"!
Is it the child again speaking? Or...?!
Sorry, my friend....
~ OMK
Wilbur, I too was totally intrigued by your poem, but have the same questions as OMK about sorting out who is speaking to whom and the relationships of the speakers. So I too look forward to your response.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think she's talking to her child directly in the first stanza then in the second she's repeating the exchange she had with her father at the time -- still telling it to her child. In the third stanza, she and her child have an exchange, where the child asks what happened, and she tells him/her.
ReplyDeleteMakes sense to me.
Sorry I forgot to delete the discarded verse.
ReplyDeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely re-write, Misty!
I like the whole new approach, including the happy/sad ending--although I'm sure you know I did not mean you had to have an unhappy ending. Conflict as such can lead to either defeat or victory.
But your platonic resolution may be the best of poetic worlds.
~ OMK
ReplyDeleteI suppose the last chunk--ten lines--are what you meant for the discard pile.
I can tell you how to fix it if you'd like, how to eliminate the unwanted section.
Or I can do it for you if you would like.
Let me know.
~ OMK
Let me know how to eliminate unwanted material from already posted posts--OMK--that would be helpful to know. And feel free to delete my unwanted section, if you can.
ReplyDeleteMisty ~
ReplyDeleteI'll do this one for you.
In the future. whenever you (or any others watching!) want to change anything you've already posted:
1) Click on "Post a Comment" to open the Edit screen.
2) Make a copy of the post you wish to change.
3) Then paste it in a fresh window, just like it's a new posting.
4) Before you publish it, make all the adjustments you wish.
5) Then click "Publish your comment."
6) For just a moment, you will have two versions posted. Quickly go to the original posting, still on the editing screen. At the bottom of that posting, find the little garbage can icon to the right of the time/date stamp. Click on that.
7) That will open a new Deletion screen. BEFORE you click on delete, be sure to click the box at the bottom that says to delete it "forever." Click that.
8) As long as you delete the old one forever, there will be no sign that you have made a deletion. But you will be left with only the new version.
The ONLY problem you may have (if it is a problem at all) is that the new version will show at the new time. You cannot have it showing at the time of the original posting. This can be a problem only if others have been commenting on the old one.
~ OMK
From Misty ~
ReplyDelete"Different Date Fate"
(inspired by my favorite critic)
The couple set off with much hope
on the day they planned to elope.
But ominous weather
made them feel less better.
It cast a dark spell
that made them feel like hell,
and their day became too stark
for an elopement lark.
And so, instead of joy or a thrill
there was no frisson, only a chill.
And so their story ends,
although they still remain friends,
like a sister and a brother,
although each married to another.
Sandy, very perspicatious of you. Exactly. I just woke up. I had a detailed explanation but carelessly tried to post directly instead of using Docs to edit,copy and paste.
ReplyDeleteI do everything by cellphone.
Jean was a classmate, Lee (Leo) was two years older but I'd known him well since I was 10. He was wild, cars was his mania. Girls can get attracted to fast cars and a walk on the wild side.
I was a walking "Breakfast Club". Honors classes*, Sports, Gang and I identified with "Nut"(my head was a bad place to go)
The "Gang" thing started the Summer of 60 and the Jean triangle was going on in the fall of 62.
We had a "ritual" of playing tackle football every Sunday afternoon. Leo showed up with Jean late one afternoon. I was a freshman in college so I'd lost touch. But I caught wind of the "Triangle"
Fast forward 50+ years. I'm "retired" and visit hometown regularly and drop into coffee shop where Jean's mother and my old Pony League coach have coffee every morning. "Dad" had passed away. He had coached Little League.
I got "The Rest of the Story " from mom. I mentioned it once to a very happily married Jean and got her side via very few words but her expression spoke volumes.
So my poem is mainly conjecture but the "decision " is not. What is not known is what "Jack" knew and when. And I only ran into Leo once, circa 75. I'd known his younger brother well.
You have baseball, football(both outside of school) , cars and girls all intertwined. Common element? Hans Solo. eg American Graffiti and Happy Days. AG is very accurate about the clash of leather and khaki in 60-63
Common element "Opie" aka Ron Howard
DeleteYou have the juxtaposition of solid family with the Fonz. In HD's it's all stereotyped. Jean is akin to the Ron Howard character. She belonged to the khaki clique in HS but her connection to the Fonz world existed too
WC
* re. HONORS Classes. Today they're called AP. My freshman year, 59-60 the separation of the "Elite" from regular College Prep had just started
Delete