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| _shown, track, unload, indigo, it was an honor.Image(s) from the Internet.
The opening poem contains all the words (or variations of them) from today's Jumble.
Comments are welcomed! And couching them in Poetry is definitely NOT required.
Do not explicitly reveal any of the actual answer words until after closing time, but embedding them surreptitiously in comment sentences is encouraged.
This is surely not a joke cartoon and solution, but rather chosen to recognize the date.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete”(Er) It was (like this, your) Honor!”
The blues singer laid another track of “Mood Indigo,”
while recalling the departure of her latest beau.
She should’ve shown him the door sooner,
but he tickled her rarely tripped sense of humor,
with his pathetic attempts to become a crooner.
He tried to take her for more dough
on the way outta her paid-up house.
But Judge Judy said, “Oh, No—Whoa!”
to alimony for a “spouse-stinkin’-louse”…!
~ OMK
Sandy Not any side-spliter, but there is a double meaning to today's solution. They would be honored to take part in a parade honoring them and their comrades.
ReplyDeleteKeith I shouldn't be complaining, since you're doing the main job of poemizing the Jumbles. But we probably have a few lurkers or one-timers, some for the original purpose of the site, to get a hint to the solutions. If you alter them too much, except for number, tense, or so forth, that original purpose is lost. Even your spoonerized titles are pushing that, but you are fairly consistent about that. But jumbling up the letters really defeats the cause. Using homophones likewise, which is why I use puns so rarely, and never buried in other words. You are getting some very good poems out of these tricks, I appreciate that! Your poetic abilities have improved, and many of your poems could probably be published in any of the plethora of poetry magazines or e-zines out there without reference to the Jumble (one of my criteria for an A+ at CC). See Light for example, or read the credits to their poets. Or self-publish your best poems at Poetry Circle. I've posted a few there, in hopes of attracting other poets here.
Field Trip
ReplyDeleteClyde was biking off the beaten track,
When the sight ahead took him aback!
A flying saucer, landing by the road,
Seven little aliens began to unload!
A bicycle is silent, they didn't notice Clyde
As they scattered into the countryside.
Clyde approached the saucer, looking inside,
Black and indigo, like their eyes so wide!
He hid as they returned, in a procession;
Lined up like an honor guard, at attention.
The tallest wore a sash with -- merit badges?
Handed out to Alien Scouts Earth-colored patches!
"Remembering"
ReplyDeleteIt was an honor to be shown
the veteran's grave with its inscribed stone.
The family were on the track
to remembering their treasured Jack.
Then, back at home, in their abode
their memories they did unload,
and their love and caring they did show
with a memory flag in indigo.
Thanks for your note, Owen. Your advice--and admonitions--are always welcome.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure of your target today, as to whether you had a specific "hint" of mine that you feel crosses a line. On re-reading my stanzas I see that three of the four J-words are presented exactly as they occur in today's Jumble. As to the fourth, I had it in my first draft but simply lost sight of it as I processed my thinking through subsequent versions.
As for the solution, I believe I came close to it in my title today.
Maybe your note was directed to some past distortions of J-words?
I admit I sometimes take liberties between the clever and those that may be charitably counted as mis-firings. But then, they still count as "hints," right? I am afraid I am often so obvious, they cross the line into out-and-out spoilers!
Thanks for the suggestions about publishing. I had no plans to do anything more with my efforts, but I appreciate your suggestion, and I will think about it.
~ OMK
Owen, I realize that, but what I was saying was that it didn't seem like the writer was going for a jokey pun, but rather trying to say something fairly serious. A shift in tone, to one unusual for a jumble.
ReplyDeleteNicely done, Misty. You are beating me on the economy front! And you offered all four J-words, whereas I failed to include one of them. (I had it loaded up in my original draft but lost sight of it. It was my UN-doing as I polished later iterations!).
ReplyDeleteThanks, too, for remembering Veterans' Day. Your piece honors the heroes and the occasion. I can "see" that flag--all snowy and scarlet as well as indigo!
~ OMK
Owen, your sci-fi piece gives us Clyde's vision and offers an off-beat thought, that ETs from "out there" may have no nefarious motive, but may count an Earth-side adventure as merely another badge on their way to making Eagle-- or Order of the Arrow!
ReplyDelete~ OMK
"I am not sure of your target today, as to whether you had a specific "hint" of mine that you feel crosses a line."
ReplyDelete"I will sometimes resort to (a) a Spoonerism or (b) a rhyming phrase. Today, I got a kick out of transposing the letters in the word "topic" (and adding a "c") to arrive at "Coptic." "
"Note that the final two syllables of "Epitaph. He..." do not just rhyme with "Taffy." Phonetically they are exactly the same"
I've only resorted to it a couple of times, but another way around uncooperative words is to break them apart into 2 or 3 unrelated poems, with or without a frame.
Delightful poems today--Ol' Man Keith and Owen.
ReplyDeleteOMK, I'm glad the speaker got rid of her sponging beau, and that when things got serious Judge Judy intervened. But mostly your funny play on the solution in your title line just cracked me up.
Owen, interesting other-worldly poem from you this morning. And I too am glad that your visiting aliens were kind and not causing problems.
Thank you, Owen, for taking the time to point to a couple of examples of those you think problematic.
ReplyDeleteI have on occasion also availed myself of the kind of hint in your final note, the kind you say you have "resorted" to.
I don't defend the other types, any more than to say they are all examples of "resorting." My first aim is to include all the J-words in their normal form, and in a well-integrated story or word picture. But since my aim is to do the best "hinting" I can, I find the back-up instances offer more help than harm.
I agree that my Spooners--and the Coptic "ism" (whatever that was!)--are my largest stretches. My only defense is that in most cases, I am "resorting."
Except of course for true Spoonerisms; the real ones are rare, and they deserve our respect.
The "taffy" example may remind you of my several past notes about speaking pieces aloud. Even mouthing them silently to oneself can be helpful in breaking with the modern habit of just reading the letters.
I know you're aware that poetry was originally a spoken or sung art. I don't think the "taffy" hint is at all obscure when the piece is sounded out, orally or mentally.
I think it can be fun--and helpful. But if it does not come across that way to readers, I hope they will count it as a mis-fire and NOT an attempt to be insulting or purposely opaque.
I promise to make more of an effort to monitor the bad Spooners.
~ OMK
OK, all outlets, take note!
ReplyDeleteHere's the rewrite of my last three lines, 1st stanza:
He'd unloaded on her his desire to be a crooner
riding her fame--which tickled her sense of humor.
With his tin ear, she shoulda kicked him sooner.
~ OMK
Darn!
ReplyDeleteOK, here AGAIN is my last line, first stanza:
"With his tin ear, she shoulda shown him out sooner."
When I was first re-working it above, I mis-remembered "should" as a J-word.
I am truly sorry that in this latest I had to sacrifice "kicked." This one merely adds to the sibilants.
If I hadda stay with it, she'd end up kicking him at the sea shore...
Rats.
~ OMK
My goodness, you've worked hard on your verses today, OMK--many thanks for that interesting and productive effort!
ReplyDelete