| avail, probe, nibble, gasket, gave (it a) spin. |
| spiral, drafty, outfit, agency, italic, kernel, "a-parent" to (her) kids.
Image from the Internet.
The opening poem contains all the words (or variations of them) from today's Jumble.
Comments are welcomed!
Do not explicitly reveal any of the actual answer words until after closing time, but embedding them surreptitiously in comment sentences is encouraged.
14 comments:
There's a sparrow on a picture frame, here in my room!
Flitting from one picture frame, to another -- zoom!
She must have crept in through a gasket, not quite sealed,
Looking for a place to build a nest to be concealed!
We have tried to no avail to shoo her out the door.
Mostly we're concerned about her pooping on the floor!
She's been probing nooks and corners, in kitchen, and hall,
Maybe nibbling on crumbs that in the past we had let fall.
She even sat a moment on a blade of our ceiling fan.
It gave her a lazy spin like a birdie Disneyland!
We've left the front door open, in hopes she'll find her way,
And not return to leave a brood of eggs some future day!
FLN ~
METRICS
Oh, rhyming's all right, I guess.
But rhythm's my game. It's best
For inducing Erato's trance
And that irresistible dance
That lets us anticipate
(Neither too early or late,
Whether in verse or in prose),
Which phrase or words will disclose
The pun, the rhyme, or the gag
: : without wandering, wading, & awkwardly wallowing;
: : wondering which--in a world of clumsily swallowing
: : randomly weakening words,
: : (like a flock of migrating birds)--
Is key despite the jag
: : & drag
: : of a time lag.
~ OMK
The spiral to insanity, it's often understood,
Can be equated to the reality of motherhood!
Kids who always leave doors ajar and drafty
Can be certified to turn a female parent daffy!
Their posture is atrocious, they slump like they're italics,
And the way they eat violates thermodynamics!
No matter how you try to outfit kids in clothes
Sleeves are all too short, and socks are showing toes!
You want your kids to show some independent agency,
But not until they've learned at least their A B C's!
To survive raising kids, of wisdom, here's a kernel:
The most important thing -- let them know your love's eternal!
J4
They regularly raided her father's liquor cabinet. The old man was a hoarder, not a drinker. So they'd just fill the Tanqueray empties with water and save it as gin.
J6
Man, I've heard of being opaque, but she was transparent as her fridge.
~ OMK
Say, Owen, looks as though my limerick didn't make the OC Register's short list. Apparently they got thousands of entries. How about yours?
https://www.ocregister.com/2020/05/09/as-we-shelter-in-place-we-held-a-limerick-contest-here-are-some-of-our-favorites/
Tough morning for me, with a tough crossword puzzle (although I did get big chunks of it) and a tough Jumble. Had trouble with items 1 and 6 and ended up having to look them up. But, thank goodness, I did get the easy and delightful Mother's Day Jumble solution.
Then came here and very much enjoyed Owen's second poem, which worked really well with the puzzle. But I'm totally stumped by Ol'Man Keith's clever, and interesting verse. I'm hoping and praying you'll explain it to us--I'd love to see what's behind all those amazing, echoing words.
No particular problems with either jumble today. Really wanted whirl for the j4 but of course it didn't fit. The j6 was of course very appropriate, with a pleasant theme. It would be lovely to be with family today, but just not possible.
Oewn, I remember you mentioning the sparrow yesterday; you made a great poem from the intrusion.
It's been a long time since I was raising my daughters, and what I cherish most is that we are almost as much friends as family nowadays. The last line of your j6 poem rings the most true for me.
I only did the J6 from the TB-Times today. I'm almost finished the Bilbo saga. I described the death of Smaug a month ago. Here we go.
As they left the great hall the Running River spiraled out
Of a narrow channel beneath the arch where it swirled about.
A road craftily built, the agency of an ancient cunning and craft
Moving quickly now the group could feel a cool and bracing draft.
They were come to the great gate with Italic runes carved
Into the great arch. It awoke Bilbo and he felt tired and starved.
"The lookout post is five hours" said Balin but first
Let's outfit ourselves with mail and quench our thirst.
Poor Bilbo hadn't a kernel of bread but did his bidding
For it was apparent to him, soldier on, Balin wasn't kidding.
They reached a bridge broken by the agency of weather and time.
They crossed though the boulders were slick with moss and slime.
WC
Hey, Misty!
Thanks for asking. I figured it might be necessary to “unpack” (how’s that for a pop-crit word?) my 1st opus above.
Hint: If you eliminate the purposely chewy section—everything after “…the gag” and before “Is key…” you’ll probably grok the sense right away.
What you are left with are ten trimeter lines, meant to emphasize my fondness for metric discipline. Where I go off the rails--and indicate as such by the indentations marked by the double colons (: :)—is when we get so needy for rhyme words we are willing to throw meter to the wolves. The indented lines include some of four and five beats, aiming to catch up with rhymes and squeeze them in helter-skelter.
Maybe this works on the page for some, but I like to speak verse out loud, and too often I miss the throb of a well-designed rhythm. For me, the meter either moves my spine or leaves it flat. It also points up the words to remember for sense or to await an otherwise buried rhyme.
When I hit a section like “without wandering…” through “… migrating birds,” I can sometimes find the dance after several attempts, but too often I just despair.
Oops: The tenth line, “Is key despite the jag,” and the combined final two half lines, “& drag / of a time lag,” take you back to three-beat lines. I shoulda printed them both as such.
I am not saying everybody has to respect the meter as much as me. But Sandy gave a neat example in her “Macaw” piece.
Truth to tell, it is far easier to maintain the beat with lines of 3 and 4 feet.
I can sum it up by pointing to my 2nd line, “…rhythm’s my game.”
~ OMK
Yes, OMK, meter is always in the forefront of my mind. I generally find it a little - just a little - jarring when a poem's meter is off.
What I sometimes fear is getting so preoccupied with rhythm that I neglect meaning. But fortunately I rarely venture into writing poetry.
Very helpful, Ol'Man Keith--many thanks.
So it looks to me as though the across lines have either 7 or 8 rhythms with the exception of the two longer ones (something like 7 8 8 8 7 7 7 7 7 13 13 7 12--putting the last three together).
And the rhymes have a pattern of aa bb cc dd e ff gg eee.
Is this totally original, or does it follow some poetics from the past?
Very interesting, and thanks again for the explanation.
Nope, I didn't make the OCRegister cut either. But lots of good limericks there. Here's the LINK you provided, which was behind a paywall or ad-block wall. I had to make a quick switch to reader mode to see it.
On the other hand, I took second place in the Santa Fe poetry contest! So far, all I find online is a list of the winners names, so nothing worth linking to. I shared the poem on my FaceBook page about a month ago.
Thanks again, Misty.
Your syllable count is accurate.
But to be clear on my end, I rarely count syllables, as they can be very misleading when it comes to checking meter. I think sometimes this is what leads poets astray, as some might think every two syllables will count as one beat, as if we're only dealing with iambs and trochees.
The real key of course is how we speak, not how we count. And even this can be troublesome because different languages rely on different metric patterns.
(Japanese, I understand, is not as heavily inflected as English, and so they can use a syllable count as the pattern for haiku. When I try my hand at haiku, I start by counting syllables, but then I may adjust the words. I'll keep the 5-7-5 count, but I don't want the piece to sound like an unresolved tune in English.)
And even among English speakers, our different accents and local patterns of speech can mean that a line that has five beats to my ear may sound to you like there are 6 or even 7!
I think it's the poet's responsibility to know the various ways a line might be read, so as to assert control over each piece. A simple 3-syllable phrase such as "In my house" can be read as ''/ or '/' or '// or /'' or even ///, depending on where it falls in a line and what motivates it. Different readers may see it in different lights, and it is up to the poet to take all this into account--either to narrow the context to make the one "best" interpretation clear or to allow for divergent readings so that each can give a solid and aesthetically plesurable beat.
Yes, this structure is my own, but I can't say it is really "original." It is just too simple for that. The only unusual mark in it is when I took off to make a point about how messy a loose structure can feel.
~ OMK
Ol'Man Keith, well since I'm a James Joyce scholar, poetry is not my specialty, as you can see (Joyce would be freaked to hear this). But your discussions are so illuminating you should really consider teaching a poetry course at the Senior Center or some Irvine class for retired scholars. I think people would be fascinated!
Post a Comment