|
|
||
| _
Image(s) from the Internet.
The opening poem contains all the words (or variations of them) from today's Jumble.
Comments are welcomed! And couching them in Poetry is definitely NOT required.
Do not explicitly reveal any of the actual answer words until after closing time, but embedding them surreptitiously in comment sentences is encouraged.
12 comments:
“Wake Inner Truth”
Whirling excites me!
Negate the world, dervish-ish,
by the brink of bliss!
~ OMK
"All Shook Up"
The powerful earthquake
did everyone awake.
It made the little girl
feel she was all a-whirl,
as if she were in flight,
which did her much excite.
But the tremors did deflate
and her thrill slowly negate.
She was no longer on a brink
and could now drink her tea and think.
What a wonderful poem, Misty!
You draw the reader into the girl’s world while granting her an instinctive delirium (not fear) in response to the quake.
The 2nd stanza brings her back to a state of contemplation—of nature, of her reaction; we don’t know, but it’s where we all are.
It feels grand. Done so simply.
Thank you.
~ OMK
Thank you for your always very kind words, Ol' Man Keith--much appreciated.
Whenever I look at your haiku in the morning, I think, no, the words can't all be in there.
Then I get the Jumble list and one by one I check them off, and there they were again this morning. One of my treats of the day--many thanks, OMK.
Thank you, Misty. I appreciate your words.
I think you can always count on my covering the J-words in some fashion. Your acomplishment in that regard is nearly always perfect.
But isn't that what's expected of us--to include all the words? I mean, it's sort of the "price of admission."*
I find that as I explore the possibilities of haiku (still very new to me), I aim for other things. Most of all, I hope to achieve a consistent tone or voice through the three lines. Whether it is a "character" speaking, or an exclamation & imperative, like today.
I think that's what I liked about your verse today. The tone felt simple & folksy throughout, with an unforced use of internal rhyme at the end. That sounded wonderful, read aloud.
An image is often important. I didn't limn it when writing today, but of course I had a "whirling-dervish" in mind
Since rhyme is not the key for haiku, I will try for other devices. Alliteration sometimes works (see my 3rd line), and assonance.
And maybe other verbal tricks... My last edit today, before posting, was to change "dervish-like" to "dervish-ish."
Although I can't always make it happen, I keep the Japanese advice in mind, to try to make a mild surprise happen between the first and second parts of the piece.
I think you actually did something like this, very gently, between your 1st and 2nd stanzas today.
~ OMK
____________
* Not to say, "low-hanging fruit."
What a complex and intriguing sense you have of the possibilities of poetry, OMK. I'll try to start learning to keep your various possibilities in mind as I go along.
My own method is more narrative than poetic. I first write each J word in the margin of the cartoon, and come up with a set of rhymes for each one. Then I try to figure out how the words might relate to each other, and how a story could be created, using them--if possible in a rhyming mode. So I'm finally always more focused on a story than on the poetry--but that's probably an aspect of my work as a literary scholar who's dealt mostly with prose fiction and novels in my career, and much less with poetry.
Of course, you're right, Misty: Story is important!
Silly of me not to mention it. I think my background in dramatic structure makes "story"--identified as "action," a consistent action--so obvious an element that it just slipped below the radar.
Yes, of course, story is key to every piece I offer. Not all poets have to believe in this, but certainly I do.
I want to see stated, either explicitly or implied, a catalyst (incitement, rising movement), an obstacle (creating conflict), and a resolution. With no loose ends, no unresolved tangents. I am always troubled if I leave something dangling just for the sake of syllable count or rhyme.
A good story is neat, not messy like life.
~ OMK
I can vouch that the pair were excited.
Nothing would negate their highjinks.
Ignoring the whirlpool,
They came to the brink
And left destruction in their wake.
Wordle 340 5/6*
⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨
⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜
⬜⬜🟩⬜🟩
⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
Wordle 340 5/6
⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬛🟩🟩⬛⬛
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
I caught you C-eh. Notice I had two tries at the missing letter moving alphabetically
My second guess had a different pronunciation of the vowels
TTP used to wordle with us. He cones and goes both places.
My C&L is going yo have the 8+2 and I'll post later tonight
Here's today and tomorrow
Poised on the brink of a new life, Chet and Lois were excited
At the prospect of the coming nuptials and for the honeymoon, delighted.
Yes. Ponying up the cash for Aruba negated their dwindling balance
But this duo were caught up in the whirlwind of tasks from invites
To preparing the menu at la maison de Charles on the wedding night.
"Attention to detail. Chet" said Lois, Let's leave nothing to chance
Contrasted to the apathy of their past lives and it's negative
Vibes they'd dropped the gruff exterior and focused only on the positive.
Much like removing rodents from the attic, they'd dispell
The nightmares in the wake of the past and follow a new motto:
Ever to excel
WC
I’m still trying to shake the “W.”
But Thanks to you, CanadianEh! & Wilbur ~ When you guys go first, it makes it easier for the rearguard…
Wordle 340 3/6
🟨🟩🟩⬜⬜
⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
~ OMK
I dig their motto, Wilbur. Does that have personal significance for you?
I have not been to Aruba. My experience of the Caribbean is limited to Jamaica, Haiti, and Nassau.
Is la Maison de Charles an actual restaurant? Have you eaten there? Be sure to order a special menu for C&L!
~ OMK
Post a Comment